And in chasing what I thought were moonbeams, I’ve run into a couple of walls. But in looking
back at all the faces I’ve been, I’d sure be the first to say, when I look at myself today, wouldn’t’a done it any other way.
-Jim Croce
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction and purpose . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
What this is about . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
Changes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
Geographic, Occupational, Emotional, Physical and Name
My Support system . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
Counseling, Support groups, Friends, and Missing support
How you might react . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... . . . . . . . . . . 13
My repsonsibilities to you . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..... . . . . . . . . 15
Who I am telling? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . 16
Who should you tell? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Answers to questions I anticipate . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..... . . . . . . . . . . .20
Am I sure about this?
Why now?
Aren’t I too old for this?
Should you feel bad about being embarrassed?
What if you can’t deal with me right now and you cut me out of your life?
Who do I blame?
What should you call me?
Will I wear women’s clothing?
Am I gay?
How does this relate to my healthy lifestyle?
Glossary
Appendices
A. Resources
Websites
B. Psychologists in your area with Gender expertise
C. The Harry Benjamin Standards of Care
I offer you this little booklet in order to try to answer questions that you may have after I have explained personally to you my announcement that I am a transsexual and that I intend to pursue a very personal transition.
My giving you this booklet means that I feel I have a responsibility to you to be forthright about this tremendous life realization I have made. It means that I care enough about you that I think you should know. And it means that I believe you care enough about me to want to understand what I am planning.
I have tried to be as straightforward and as open as I can be. This is a very personal process, but I understand that it impacts your life and that you have a right to know a lot more than I might otherwise be inclined to share.
I have also tried to create a document that expresses my having come to peace with this after careful research, analysis, meditation and professional guidance. This is not a transition I take lightly or easily, but one I take fully informed and with as much bravery as I can muster.
I have been very fortunate my whole life in so many ways, and my greatest blessing has always been the people with whom I have been able to be close. I cherish my relationship with you and hope to continue it—if, after my announcement, you are comfortable that I can still have a place in your life.
Remember, I will change in some ways, but I will always be the same person—funny, smart, kind, and hopefully a pretty good person to have as a friend or relative. This step I take is an imperative for me. I really wish I didn’t have to take it, but I do. It’s still me though.
And I am not sad about this. In fact, I am excited and amazed and so lucky compared to many transgendered people. It is a wondrous thing that I can do this and I hope to celebrate it for the rest of my life. I hope you are always there to celebrate with me. Certainly, this is a shocking thing I have told you, but life will go on. We all have lives to live.
Finally, even though I rarely say things like this, I have been thrilled to be your son, brother, brother-in-law, friend and father. I love you. Thank you.
