There are distinct masculine and feminine ways to move and carry yourself, and the secret to changing others' perception of your gender is to learn what those movements are and how they are different. The most fundamental difference is the amount of space a person occupies. Men tend to spread out, legs and arms stretched wide to claim their area, while women tend to try to close up, to try to take up less space and not be seen as overtly. Masculine movement is more deliberate, and jerky, while feminine movement is a more balanced, and fluid motion. This movement is accomplished in two ways: a conscious shift in how one carries their weight from their upper shoulders and arms to the pelvic and hip area, and then coordinated head, face, hand, and body movement. This weight shift is the key to feminine poise, and having natural feminine poise and gestures is essential to presenting an authentic feminine image. Poise, like the voice, requires the most practice and training to learn well. One can spend a fortune on your clothes, pay to have your makeup and hair done, and even have plastic surgery, but you have to put in the time and effort and practice required to change your body language to present an authentic feminine presentation. After all, those we are wishing to emulate have been practicing all their lives, how can we expect to grasp it in a few short hours. Authentic feminine poise can offset much, if not all, of your masculine voice.
Men typically carry their weight in their arms and shoulders and tend to lean forward, or they carry their weight very low and exhibit a "heavy" walk. Either way, men tend to carry their weight in an unbalanced fashion. This is a particularly masculine movement and can give away even the most well dressed TG woman. Natural women, on the other hand, learn early in their training to keep their shoulders pulled back and chest lifted up, with their weight centered over their hips. The TG woman, who tends to be "top" heavy, would do well to remember that when they walk. By learning to center your weight in your hips and pelvis and keep your shoulders back and chest out, you will find that your feet are lighter when touching the floor and your overall presentation is much more feminine. I learned that by visualizing that I am a marionette with a string holding my body and head up straight my balance point is centered on my hips in lieu of my shoulders, I can move more fluidly.
Another masculine movement to be aware of is how they swing their arms. Swinging your arms from your shoulders may be another behavior that is giving you away. Womens' arms rest gently down the side of their legs allowing for a natural delicate swing from their elbows. TG women should practice keeping their elbows turned inward or touching their torso. Not having space between your elbows and torso keeps you in a smaller capsule of space, thus appearing more feminine. Keeping your thumbs pulled in towards your hand, and always keeping your fingers cupped will help large hands appear more petite and graceful.
You may have learned that leading with your chin will get you in trouble in a fight. The same is true if you lead with your chin when you walk. If your head or chin leads, you will appear less feminine. This is related to the masculine manner of leaning forward. When your head is down your shoulders will slump forward preventing a feminine silhouette. Graceful women walk with their heads back and tilted, keeping their chin parallel to the floor, and their weight centered in their pelvis. Practice taking on a feminine silhouette by learning to stand and walk with their weight back and allowing their hips, heads, and hands to be more expressive in communicating balanced female movements.
Many TG women (especially when wearing a wig) will hold their head very erect and rigid. This rigid body language is unnatural, and will get them read almost at once. Practice smoothly tilting your head and using your mouth or eyes to express emotion. Some common methods are: using eye contact while exchanging smiles, raising and lowering your eyebrows; blinking more often; move your body more in your chair while talking, touching different parts of your thigh or arm while gently moving hair away from your face; move your lips and mouth forward or to the side; sit with your legs crossed and pointed towards the other person; and, expose your wrist or palm to the person you are interested in.
A poised women will tend to have more expressive face, hands, and speech patterns, and they are coordinated with other body movements. A graceful women will move more than one body part at a time: whether by tilting her head and shoulder while she hand lightly touches her thigh as she crosses her legs, or other similar combination. A graceful women will use a simple head tilt while slowly stroking their fingers and gracefully changing into a different hand position. Additionally, while conversing with you, she'll rest an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her other hand wrist broken, palm up; while listening to you speak she may gently lean forward and slowly lower her face, eyes and lightly pucker her lips; while walking confidently she may shake her head back and forth and perhaps gracefully pull her hair out of her wind blown face, tossing it to one side. This is the grace and poise that sends men jumping from their chairs to catch a glimpse of the beautiful woman walking by. Feminine poise and grace can be learned and will enable you to express the femininity you feel inside far more effectively than the typical clothing or makeup everyone uses. You too will start to walk more gracefully, and become more confident with each public outing, knowing you will not ever again give off the impression of being "a guy in a dress."
Thanks for listening.
